My brothers and sisters. I was fortunate enough to have the Universe speak to me in my youth, in my darkest times, and help me, to give me messages to help me through. And instead of taking those messages of hope and being grateful, and recognizing that they would come as marvelous gifts from the Universe, I have spent the best part of my adult life to date trying to extract the things I felt ‘I’ deserved. My spiritual journey became all about ‘me’; what ‘I’ could do; what ‘I’ wanted; what ‘I’ would be. Even when I discovered surrender (before higher balance), I saw it as a tool to overcome ‘my’ pain, to better ‘my’ self. Sure, there was a vague knowing that there was some point in the future that I needed this for in order to serve, but it kinda got lost along the way. I guess this is my way of saying to the Universe – Thank you. And I’m sorry. I am so grateful to the Force for everything it has given me. For the advantages I have had (and continue to have) in this life; for Eric Pepin and Higher Balance, and for my Star Reach coach Baard; who in 6 short months of SR feels like one of the only true friends I have ever had.

My whole life, I have searched for ‘the One’ – the feeling of connection with another person that my heart yearned for. But I know now that it wasn’t a sexual connection I craved; it was a connection to all of you, my fellow white cells, that my heart has yearned for all these years. All those times I had felt the connection with people was not solely because I was organically attracted to them, but rather I only allowed myself to feel the connection when the organic attraction was present as I had put the connection into a box, and labeled it and tagged it. If someone so huge can be hidden from me purely because I did not truly understand it – what else am I missing? The answer, of course, is everything. It’s all here. I just currently lack the tonal and understanding to experience it.